Unspoken Words: a response

Because most days in life I only get to nod and smile whilst dying inside // 

These are some of my many thoughts on the subject of missions abroad vs at home

I had a conversation last week and it got me to thinking (as most conversations do). I had just told this woman that I was preparing to start my missions training courses with the intent of serving overseas. She began to tell me how sad it was that “people” felt they had to go overseas (to preach the gospel and minister to others) when there were plenty of opportunities right here. She went on to say what a pity it was that every Sunday morning she saw so many children in the neighborhoods playing in the streets or riding their bikes (and not attending church). “People don’t need to go overseas–it’s a shame–there is plenty of work right here.” I nodded, smiled, looked sympathetic, and honestly felt misunderstood once again. But that’s not a new sensation to me, so I kept quiet and let her talk, as I always seem to find myself doing. Why don’t I ever speak up? I asked myself. Well, there’s a whole host of reasons, some of which are linked to insecurity, but mostly, I just don’t have the motivation to bother. If someone doesn’t seem like the receptive type, why split hairs? She had her mind made up. But then, so do I.

Missions. It can be a very ambiguous term, but I’m going to use it in it’s most general meaning today: spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ to the unbelieving world. However, I’m finding there is much emphasis in the Bible on spreading this message to those who have never heard. Now that I’m writing this out, I think that may be just it. I think this may be the difference. One is evangelism and the other, missions. So let’s try this again, shall we?

Evangelism- spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ to the unbelieving world

Missions- spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ to the unbelieving world, specifically and especially to those who have never heard  

Both of these should be followed up with discpleship and since going to the unreached also requires church planting to keep the faith growing and spreading, it requires more work, more time, and more effort. It is not mere street or neighborhood or grocery store evangelism. It is not passing out tracks or hosting backyard Bible clubs or serving in a local shelter or orphanage. All of these things may be on the to do list and in the life of an overseas missionary, but that is just it. Missions in itself is a lifestyle. And it is a lifestyle that I am straining to live here in the US, but my heart is so drawn across the seas to those who have no hope. They don’t even know Who Jesus is! They know only darkness and unbelief. They are surrounded by evil spirits every day and don’t even recognize it. They sense no danger. They know no other way. There are no churches on their street corners, there is no chance meeting of a follower of Christ. Unless someone chooses to obey. To give up there comfortable Western life, their minor struggles, their aches and pains and heartaches and let their heart ache for something else. For those who have never heard. For every tribe, every language, every nation, every unreached person bound in the chains of ignorance. “And then the end will come.”

Let your heart break. 

And then go.

Because feelings without action is not obedience. It’s only emotion.


I’ve been struggling with this for a long time. Well, maybe struggling isn’t the word…debating? It was always just a little twinge in my heart that I didn’t want to open up and discover. I wanted to continue on in my ignorance. And if I know anything, I know that’s not right. That’s not God’s way. We are to search thing out to see if they are true. () We are to pay attention to our convictions, no matter how “little and insignificant” they seem. It’s the little things that plant the seeds that root the much bigger issues. So this past week, I finally started looking at the facts again and coming to my own conclusion. (Which I pray and hope is Spirit-led. I believe that’s why I’m here today…)

“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.” Luke 16:10


No, I’m not crazy. I’m not a wacko or a hippie, tree hugging, eco-sensitive flower child. Yet. (I jest! But do I? Yes, I do.)

I will admit to being a little bit of a free spirit. And I’m drawn to a lot of things that were popularized by hippies in the 60s, but I also see their flaws. I see the gaps in their worldview. Because they, like everyone else, needed– needs Jesus.

On an earth that has traveled to the moon
I still see so much wrong
And I don’t need to look far
Times are coming when you won’t have any food
And I know for sure that your money won’t get you very far

Oh, oh the world needs Jesus
~Malcolm & Alwyn, The World Needs Jesus

But, to get back on topic:

Plants vs Meat

Actually, it’s not even really that…And that’s exactly what I’ve been coming to terms with. It’s not “plants vs meat”, it’s a matter of ethics. Humanity vs Cruelty. I have no problems with eating eggs that came from properly cared for chickens or eating meat that was slaughtered in a caring and humane way. It’s the factories that I’m against. The mass-produced, the hormone bloated, disease-ridden factory farmed animal products. The callousness that is prevalent. The abuse that is recorded. It is not godly. It is not God-glorifying. And I cannot consciously be a part of supporting that any longer.

I don’t feel like getting all scientific and technical today, but there is plenty of information out there for you to do your own research to test and see if what I’m saying is true. Studies have proven that our bodies can run even more efficiently on a vegan diet and we all know how many health problems the United States is overwhelmed with right now simply because of diet. So not only will this be beneficial for my mind and my conscience’s sake, it will be good for my body too.

Now let’s tackle some questions:

We’re not under the law anymore. We’re free to eat whatever we choose. Isn’t that what Peter’s vision was all about? So why make such a fuss?

-If you know anything about me or have even read the name my blog, you should know I am all about freedom in Christ! However, not only is that not what the passage (Acts 10:9-16) is about, the Word never contradicts itself. And in Proverbs 12:10 it explicitly states, “Whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast, but the mercy of the wicked is cruel.” There’s also the story of Balaam and the donkey in Numbers 22 and verses in Ecclesiastes 3:9+Exodus23:5+Deuteronomy 25:4 and more. We know our Heavenly Father cares for the wellbeing of His creation, man and beast, and we should too. We should be good stewards of the creation He has left in our care. Again, it is not sinful to eat meat. It is sinful (unrighteous) to flippantly disregard life, whether animal or human.

What about protein?!?!?!

-This is the first thing anyone ever asks me. Why is everyone so concerned? Again, statistics have proven that not only do we reach our protein “goal” on a daily basis as American Meat-eaters, we exceed it. That being said, there are plenty of protein-rich plant-based foods out there just waiting to be enjoyed. And I’m fairly certain everyone would agree that most of us don’t eat enough vegetables. We should be more concerned about the vitamin deficiencies we’re prone to, not protein deficiency.

*On a side note, there are so many generally vegetarian/vegan cultures out there that don’t have a choice economically to indulge in meats or culturally desire to. And most of those people groups are much healthier and live much longer than we do, with our high cholesterol+sedentary lifestyles.

If you have any other questions popping up in your mind, feel free to leave them down below! I’d love to talk this out with anyone willing to care and share. ♥



Live like it.

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Is it too much to want a group of believers surrounding you?

People you can call on for prayer.




People you can worship with, laugh with, share your heart with–

People who will listen when you speak and truly care…

But will care about Jesus and your relationship status with Him even more.

Is it wrong to expect more out of the ones closest to you than the time of day?

Or the weather.

Or their latest day-to-day routine.

Work. School. Whatever. Does it really matter?

There’s a place and a time for chit-chat, I know, but shouldn’t it weigh in at 10% to 90 of Christ and Him crucified instead of the other way around? Shouldn’t His affect on our life be the next big thing? Shouldn’t “our” lives be only tinged with stories of ourselves and painted over with tales of His work in us instead?

After all, we are no longer our own. We were bought with a price.

So shouldn’t we live like it?


These last few months have hit me like a tidal wave.

I’ve been drowning in emotions more times then I would prefer to remember, have had so many “major” decisions thrown at me, and have experienced God’s hand in my life more vividly than before. I am so thankful for our loving Heavenly Father who holds us in the palms of His hands and lifts us into His loving arms when we think we’re sinking and the world is disappearing into life’s overwhelming icy depths. Praise the Lord for His gentleness and compassion on us! On you. On me.

Our God is the God who heals.

I’ve been recovering from many deep relational wounds and a past of what I believe to be Spiritual abuse. I have grown. I pray I have become stronger. I pray that my heart will soften and that these scars won’t continue to mortar walls of bitterness in my life. I pray that Christ’s love will heal me, comfort me, and flow from me to all the other broken and hurting souls out there in this world, believing or not.

I pray for a fresh start, a fresh passion, a renewed vision.

I pray for direction.

I pray for 2017 and what it holds.


“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” -C.S. Lewis

What to do when you don’t know what to do…

It’s cliché, I know. But it’s a real feeling all the same– the sometimes all-consuming, sickening, nausea that overcomes a person at some point… What am I doing with my life? Do I have a purpose? We look around us at the suffering, the pain, the shallowness, the vanity of it all and we ask, What is the meaning of all this? We’ve all been there, right?

Even as Believers we do this. I know I do. I know that everything is for our good and God’s glory, but sometimes I don’t understand it. I know I won’t ever understand it all. And you know, I’ve come to realize, that’s a beautiful thing. We don’t have all the answers, but we know Someone who does.

I’ve struggled for so long with not knowing God’s will for my life. What does that even mean? Does He have some greater plan that I stray from if I follow my own desires? Or does He give me those desires to cause me to walk in His ways? Does he care about the particulars as long as the Way of Peace is followed? Is there any way to not be in His will?

And as I wrestle with these things, I grow weary. Burdened down. And I think, this isn’t right is it? It’s not supposed to be this hard. Why the struggle? Why all the mystery and deciphering? Why can’t You just TELL me what You want of me. I’m listening. I’ll obey. I just want a direct command. An audible Voice. A burning bush. Anything! 

We fall into the trap of thinking that God works and thinks and acts like us. But He doesn’t “You thought that I was one like yourself…” (Psalm 50:21)

But our God is the God of still small Voices (1 Kings 19:11-12), foggy mirrors (1 Corinthians 13:12), the unknown and the untold (Deuteronomy 29:29). He wants us to marvel in Him, in who He is, in His Works that we don’t understand. (Isaiah 58:8-9) And that brings Him glory. It puts us in our rightful place. (Romans 9:20) And yet…

How do we know God’s will for us?

Yesterday, I understood for the first time (though heard and considered many times before) why I often feel so restless. Like my life has no real purpose. Like I’m missing something important, or I’m wasting my God-given time searching for something I’ll never find. Why I feel so confused and overwhelmed. Much as I know this, now I grasp it, cling to it, more than just comprehend, but understand: I need God. More than my relationship with Him, I need to be with Him. We were created to have fellowship with Him and be in His very presence and when Adam and Eve brought sin into the world, that separated us from Him. We are meant to be with Him and to walk with Him and talk with Him, and see Him face to face. That. That is why I struggle so much. That is the burden on my soul that I could never name. We were created with eternity pressing in on our hearts, always there, always reminding. You need Him. As the Amplified Version says of Ecclesiastes 3:11, 

He has made everything beautiful and appropriate in its time. He has also planted eternity [a sense of divine purpose] in the human heart [a mysterious longing which nothing under the sun can satisfy, except God]—yet man cannot find out (comprehend, grasp) what God has done (His overall plan) from the beginning to the end.”

But apart from that which I cannot change for the present (until He brings my restless and weary soul to Him in the future), what am I supposed to be doing? 

I know it’s not just waiting around, wishing and hoping and pitying my lack until I die. That is not the abundant life! (John 10:10) So next, I will scribble my way around discerning the will of God.



Emotionalism isn’t the same as responding emotionally.

Heresy isn’t the same as differing opinions.

Depressing isn’t the same as convicting.

Sobriety does not equal success.

Happiness does not equal worldliness.

Encouragement is necessary. Redemption is required. Hope is helpful not harmful.

Good shepherds don’t beat down, but build up.

The calling is tough, but there are guidelines that should be remembered. We are the people you have been given by God. Hand-picked for each other to nurture and ground in the Faith. We are to strive, both of us, to strengthen each other.

Pray for the people of God. Pray for unity. Pray for our Pastors.