I am really bad at consistency. And commitment. And courage. (And a whole host of other things that do not necessarily begin with the letter ‘c’…)
But I’m trying my best to be a pleasing aroma to my Lord and am learning what it means to conquer in His strength, so today, I thought I would make a little list.
I am quite a paradox when it comes to life– I’m not a particularly tidy person, but I love to have my schedule in order. My time. My future. My life. Actually, I’ve been coming to realize how little following the aforementioned schedule really is to me, it’s just the comfort of knowing what you’re expected to do day-to-day. It’s a security blanket and a false sense of control. It’s also often a surefire tactic of the Enemy to accuse me of my shortcomings, to call me a failure to my face, to lie to me, and for me to more often than I should, consider his confidences and agree with his soft taunting whispers. But lists and goals and aspirations can also be a guidepost and a roadmap from the Lord if you are delighting in Him and discovering His will for you. Like everything else in this life, it’s a balance. And that is certainly something I’ve been learning of late.
B A L A N C E //
i’ve been focusing on controlling myself: my actions, my appetite, my words, my emotions, my “control”. everything.
B O L D N E S S //
i’ve posted on this already some here, but i’m desperately trying to come out of my shell and give a warmer first impression to the world. actually, no, i’m not mad or sad or tired. that’s just my face. but i’m trying to mend it a little. just for you 🙂
C O N S I S T E N C Y //
do i even know what this is? procrastination has wormed its way into my life where it didn’t once belong. the need for “rest” has become too strong. i have an eternity of blissful rest awaiting me. now is not the time. i am not going to go on living a life of weekends. now is the time, now is the hour and the hour wanes.
C L A R I T Y //
i want to continue to strive to live more focused each day on the ultimate goal + prize in this life and the one beyond. i have been learning so much about rewards in heaven…God knew I needed a little motivation and He is the best kick in the pants there is. and i mean that in the most reverent way possible. but it’s true. i have come to long for His correction because that means He’s busy pulling weeds and growing something beautiful and new in the soil of my soul. and i do love flowers so dearly.
C O M P A N I O N S H I P //
(i really didn’t try to make these titles coincide, i promise)
i have fallen on both sides of the coin of relational necessity. as in, “with Christ, do we really need any friends? after all, He is my Best Friend.” and while this is entirely true, and Jesus is still my closest confidante and ever will be, He Himself has been showing me my need for companionship, especially now. i need a solid church family to dwell in and friends to sharpen me. i have yet to find that out here in the boonies, but i’m still looking.
So, now that I have some issues that I have perceived in my own life, what should I do about it? Well my friends, this is a battle, and I need a game plan. Err…battleplan. I have decided to purpose to take each of these shortcomings to the Lord in prayer daily. I am scheduling my morning routines once more to include time for spiritual and physical nourishment and strengthening. I am taking some time each week to fast and pray more deeply about the cares of my heart. I am trying to live more intentionally and will soon begin each of my days memorizing and meditating on a promise that the Lord has made to me. Am I telling you these things for a pat on the back? No, that would never be my desire. I don’t relish talking about myself and my failures. But I do long to grow. And to grow you must water yourself with accountability and intentions and lots and lots of prayer.
Let’s talk! What are some things you struggle with? I’m here for you, dear one.